Card Category
Support Systems & Moving Forward
Card Number
This is card 47 of 52 of the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck
Card Overview
Healing after narcissistic abuse is a journey, and on this journey, finding the right support is crucial. Card 47 in the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck is titled “Find Your Tribe,” which speaks to one of the most vital steps in rebuilding your life—surrounding yourself with people who understand, support, and uplift you. Whether it’s friends, family, or like-minded individuals in support groups, the importance of building a reliable and loving support system cannot be overstated.
If you haven’t yet, you can get the full Surviving Narcissism Card Deck here – each card dives deep into the various manipulations and healing strategies to guide your recovery.
Table Of Contents
Why Finding Your Tribe Is Essential
After enduring the psychological and emotional manipulation typical of narcissistic abuse, such as gaslighting (Card 1) or love-bombing (Card 3), you may feel isolated, confused, and even doubtful of your own reality.
“Narcissists thrive on isolating their victims, and over time, this isolation can cause a person to lose touch with their inner strength and sense of self.”
It is in this state that rebuilding your support network becomes essential.
A tribe of compassionate, understanding, and empathetic individuals can remind you of who you are, offer perspective on your experiences, and help you reconnect with your core values and beliefs.
Breaking Free from Isolation
Many people coming out of narcissistic relationships find themselves dealing with the aftereffects of isolation.
Narcissists tend to cut their victims off from friends, family, and external influences that could offer a reality check. Whether through triangulation (Card 2) or flying monkeys (Card 8), they often recruit others to enforce this isolation, leaving you feeling like you have no one to turn to.
This is where finding your tribe becomes vital.
The process starts with recognising that you deserve to have supportive people in your life who will validate your experiences and encourage you to grow. A good support system can help you break free from the hold of the narcissist’s manipulation tactics, such as blame-shifting (Card 6) or future faking (Card 7), and rebuild your sense of trust in yourself and others.
How to Start Finding Your Tribe
4 Ways To Find Your Tribe:
Evaluate Your Current Relationships: The first step in finding your tribe is evaluating the people currently in your life. Ask yourself: Do they respect your boundaries? Are they supportive and understanding, or do they dismiss your experiences? If someone tends to enable or side with the narcissist, it might be time to distance yourself from them. Setting boundaries with unsupportive individuals is covered in How to set clear boundaries (Card 12), which explores how to create healthy boundaries after abuse.
Seek Out Support Groups: There are numerous support groups, both online and in person, for survivors of narcissistic abuse. These groups can be a safe space to share your story, connect with others who understand, and receive validation. You are not alone in your experiences, and finding others who have walked a similar path can offer immense comfort. As explored in Positive People (Card 44), the importance of surrounding yourself with positive people during your healing journey cannot be overstated.
Reconnect with Trusted Friends and Family: In some cases, narcissists succeed in isolating you from even your closest friends and family. Now is the time to reach out to those you’ve lost touch with. Rebuilding trust in yourself and others, as discussed in Rebuild Trust (Card 17), can help pave the way for reconnecting with people who genuinely care about you. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and honest about what you’ve been through.
Consider Professional Help: If reconnecting with others feels overwhelming or you’re struggling to trust again, therapy can provide a supportive environment for working through these challenges. Therapy is a powerful tool for survivors of narcissistic abuse, as highlighted in Therapy is strength (Card 25). A professional can help you navigate your trauma, work through trust issues, and offer guidance on rebuilding healthy relationships.
The Top 5 Benefits of Finding Your Tribe
Surrounding yourself with supportive people offers numerous benefits, particularly for survivors of narcissistic abuse.
Here are just a few of the ways finding your tribe can help you heal:
Validation: After months or even years of manipulation and control, it’s common to doubt your own reality. A supportive tribe can offer validation by confirming that your experiences were real and that your feelings are justified. This is particularly important for those dealing with gaslighting (Card 1), where your sense of reality may have been continually distorted by the narcissist.
Emotional Support: Healing from narcissistic abuse is not a linear process. There will be ups and downs, and having a tribe of people who can offer emotional support during difficult times is invaluable. This support allows you to process your emotions in a healthy way, as explored in Feel to heal (Card 26).
Encouragement: Whether it’s celebrating small victories, as mentioned in Celebrate Small Wins (Card 41), or encouraging you to pursue your goals, your tribe will be there to lift you up and keep you moving forward. Sometimes, a simple word of encouragement can be the difference between feeling stuck and making progress.
A Sense of Belonging: One of the most damaging aspects of narcissistic abuse is the loss of identity. As explored in Rebuild your identity (Card 43), survivors often struggle with understanding who they are after the abuse ends. Being part of a tribe that accepts you for who you are—without judgement or manipulation—can help you rediscover your true self.
Accountability: Your tribe can also offer accountability as you work towards your healing goals. Whether it’s setting boundaries, practising self-care, or taking steps towards reclaiming your time (Reclaim your time (Card 11), having a group of people who genuinely care about your progress can help keep you on track.
Rebuilding Trust After Narcissistic Abuse
Rebuilding trust is a key theme in your healing journey.
Trust was likely severely eroded during the relationship, both in yourself and in others. Narcissists have a unique ability to destroy your confidence and self-worth, often using tactics like projection (Card 5) and silent treatment (Card 4) to keep you in a state of confusion and doubt.
As you begin to build new, healthier relationships, give yourself time to trust again. It’s okay to take things slowly and to prioritise your emotional safety. Trust is built on consistency and mutual respect, so surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries and support your healing process. You’ll find that as your trust in others grows, so too will your trust in yourself.
Here’s a list of 52 quick ways to rebuild trust:
- Acknowledge your mistakes openly and take responsibility for your actions.
- Communicate transparently about your feelings and intentions.
- Listen actively to the other person’s concerns without interruption.
- Be consistent in your words and actions to establish reliability.
- Set realistic expectations to avoid future disappointments.
- Apologise sincerely and show genuine remorse for your past behaviour.
- Demonstrate patience as trust takes time to rebuild.
- Follow through on promises to reinforce your commitment.
- Share your thoughts openly to foster intimacy and connection.
- Encourage honest feedback to create an environment of trust.
- Respect boundaries to show you value the other person’s space.
- Be dependable by showing up when you say you will.
- Practice empathy to understand the other person’s perspective.
- Create a safe space for open dialogue about feelings and issues.
- Avoid defensiveness when discussing trust-related topics.
- Rebuild trust slowly by taking small steps towards reconciliation.
- Be vulnerable about your fears and insecurities.
- Engage in shared activities to strengthen your bond and create positive memories.
- Be supportive during challenging times to show you care.
- Practice gratitude for the other person’s willingness to work on the relationship.
- Maintain your integrity by being honest even when it’s difficult.
- Recognise and validate the other person’s feelings regarding trust.
- Cultivate forgiveness by letting go of past grievances.
- Revisit positive memories to remind each other of the good times shared.
- Establish new rituals that promote connection and trust.
- Seek professional help if necessary to mediate and guide the rebuilding process.
- Offer reassurances to alleviate any fears about the future.
- Respect the other person’s pace in rebuilding trust.
- Be transparent about your intentions to avoid misunderstandings.
- Celebrate small victories in the rebuilding process to encourage progress.
- Share your future plans to demonstrate commitment to the relationship.
- Practice self-reflection to understand your role in the trust breakdown.
- Be open to change and willing to adjust your behaviour.
- Avoid comparisons to past relationships to focus on the present.
- Demonstrate reliability by being someone they can count on.
- Clarify misunderstandings promptly to prevent further erosion of trust.
- Make a concerted effort to improve communication skills.
- Express love and appreciation regularly to reinforce emotional bonds.
- Give them space when needed to process their feelings.
- Use “I” statements to express your feelings without placing blame.
- Encourage open dialogue about what trust means to both of you.
- Stay accountable for your actions and decisions.
- Keep confidences to show that you respect their privacy.
- Avoid gossiping about the other person to maintain their trust.
- Be willing to compromise to find common ground.
- Be present during conversations to show that you value them.
- Show appreciation for their efforts in rebuilding trust.
- Engage in conflict resolution to address issues constructively.
- Create joint goals that require mutual trust and collaboration.
- Regularly check in to assess feelings and progress in the relationship.
- Be aware of your body language to convey openness and sincerity.
- Reinforce trust daily through positive actions and words.
Each of these quick trust-building strategies can contribute to the slow but steady process of rebuilding trust in a relationship.
6 Tools (Card Decks) to Aid Your Healing Journey
Here’s a list of tools to aid your healing journey, each accompanied by a brief description and a link to access them:
Blissful Breathing Card Deck
The Blissful Breathing Card Deck offers a collection of breathing exercises designed to promote relaxation and mindfulness. Each card provides a unique technique that can help you manage stress, reduce anxiety, and cultivate a sense of inner peace. Incorporating these practices into your daily routine can significantly enhance your emotional well-being and support your healing journey.
Chair Yoga Card Deck
The Chair Yoga Card Deck is an excellent resource for those who may have mobility challenges or prefer gentle movement. Each card features easy-to-follow poses that can be performed while seated, making yoga accessible to everyone. Engaging in these calming exercises can help you reconnect with your body, reduce tension, and promote overall wellness as you heal.
Face Yoga Card Deck
The Face Yoga Card Deck introduces you to a series of facial exercises aimed at enhancing your natural beauty and promoting relaxation. Each card guides you through specific movements that can help tone facial muscles, improve circulation, and reduce stress. Practising face yoga can be a delightful way to nurture self-compassion and foster a positive self-image during your recovery.
101 Mini Yoga Cards
The 101 Mini Yoga Cards provide a diverse range of yoga poses, making it easy to incorporate movement into your daily life. These cards feature clear instructions and illustrations to guide you through each pose, ensuring that you can practise safely and effectively. By engaging in regular yoga, you can cultivate mindfulness, enhance flexibility, and support your healing process.
Joseph Pilates Card Deck
The Joseph Pilates Card Deck offers a comprehensive collection of Pilates exercises that focus on core strength, flexibility, and overall body awareness. Each card provides detailed instructions to ensure you perform the movements correctly, helping you build a strong foundation for physical health. Integrating Pilates into your routine can empower you to reclaim your body and foster resilience as you heal.
Pilates Matwork Card Deck
The Pilates Matwork Card Deck is designed to guide you through a series of mat-based exercises that enhance strength, stability, and balance. Each card is crafted to help you develop proper alignment and control, making it an excellent addition to your fitness journey. Practising Pilates can contribute to your emotional and physical healing, providing a nurturing space for self-discovery and empowerment.
These resources can be invaluable as you navigate your healing journey, providing tools and techniques to support your emotional and physical well-being.
Conclusion: Embracing Your New Tribe
Below are some healing resources (card decks) I’ve created that may help you on your healing journey:
- Surviving Narcissism Card Deck
- Blissful Breathing Card Deck
- Chair Yoga Card Deck
- 101 Mini Yoga Cards
- Pilates Matwork Card Deck
Finding your tribe is about embracing the people who lift you up, not drag you down. It’s about building relationships based on mutual respect, understanding, and emotional support. As you move forward on your healing journey, you’ll find that these relationships help you grow and flourish in ways you may have thought were lost to you forever.
Remember, you are not alone on this journey. There are people out there who will support you, uplift you, and help you thrive. Find Your Tribe—because you deserve to heal surrounded by those who care.
If you want to explore these and other strategies in-depth, I encourage you to check out the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck for guidance on your journey.
Here’s a look at the full deck:
Narcissist Mind Games (10 Cards)
- Gaslighting
- Triangulation
- Love-Bombing
- Silent Treatment
- Projection
- Blame Shifting
- Future Faking
- Flying Monkeys
- Smear Campaigns
- Hoovering
Self-Care & Boundaries (10 Cards)
- Reclaim Your Time
- Set Clear Boundaries
- No Is a Complete Sentence
- Limit Contact
- Practice Mindfulness
- Healthy Detachment
- Rebuild Trust in Yourself
- Self-Compassion
- Guard Your Energy
- Disconnect Digitally
Healing from Trauma (10 Cards)
- Acknowledge the Pain
- Journal Your Journey
- Practice Gratitude
- Release the Guilt
- Therapy Is Strength
- Feel to Heal
- Reconnect with Your Body
- Affirm Your Worth
- Focus on the Present
- Time Heals
Recognising Red Flags (8 Cards)
- Lack of Empathy
- Extreme Charm
- Need for Control
- Quick Intimacy
- No Accountability
- Inconsistent Behaviour
- Lack of Boundaries
- Isolating You
Empowerment & Rebuilding (8 Cards)
- Reclaim Your Power
- Find Your Voice
- Celebrate Small Wins
- Visualise Your Future
- Rebuild Your Identity
- Surround Yourself with Positivity
- Redefine Your Worth
- Embrace Freedom
Support Systems & Moving Forward (6 Cards)
- Find Your Tribe
- Share Your Story
- Healthy Relationships Exist
- No Contact Is Power
- Stay Educated
- Forgive Yourself First
Click here to explore the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck in full and take the first step in your healing journey.
By George Watts
