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Card Category
Healing From Trauma
Card Number
This is card 26 of 52 of the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck
Card Overview
Emotions are often seen as barriers in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse—overwhelming, confusing, and sometimes unbearable. However, true healing begins when we allow ourselves to feel. “Feel to Heal” is the 26th card in the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck and a reminder that to move beyond trauma, you must embrace your emotions instead of suppressing them. This card follows key steps such as Acknowledge the Pain (Card 21) and Release the Guilt (Card 24), guiding you towards deeper emotional processing and recovery.
After enduring narcissistic abuse, it’s common to disconnect from your feelings, often out of self-protection. The intense manipulation tactics employed by narcissists—such as Gaslighting (Card 1) and Blame Shifting (Card 6)—cause you to question your own emotions and experiences. These mental and emotional gymnastics can result in a numbness or inability to trust what you feel. But reclaiming your emotional world is crucial for healing. Here’s why “feeling” is not only necessary but powerful.
If you haven’t yet, you can get the full Surviving Narcissism Card Deck here – each card dives deep into the various manipulations and healing strategies to guide your recovery.
Why Feeling Your Emotions is Essential for Healing
In the aftermath of trauma, especially from narcissistic abuse, emotions can feel overwhelming. However, emotions serve an important function: they guide us towards what we need. Anger may show us where our boundaries have been violated, while sadness can point us towards unresolved pain. It is in feeling these emotions that we are able to process them and release their grip on our lives.
Suppressing emotions doesn’t make them disappear. Instead, unprocessed emotions tend to manifest in physical, mental, or behavioural issues. This is why allowing yourself to fully experience your feelings, no matter how painful, is the key to healing from narcissistic abuse. While this process is uncomfortable, it’s also transformative. It helps you to reconnect with yourself, rebuild trust in your emotional world, and ultimately find peace.
If you’ve already worked through the concepts in Practice Mindfulness (Card 15) and Self-Compassion (Card 18), you’re ready to take this next step. You’ve cultivated an awareness of your inner world and nurtured kindness toward yourself.
Now, it’s time to go deeper and fully embrace your emotional experience.
The Danger of Emotional Avoidance
One of the ways narcissists manipulate is by distorting your emotional reality. Through tactics like Projection (Card 5) and Silent Treatment (Card 4), they create an environment where your feelings are invalidated or ignored. Over time, you may internalise this behaviour and begin avoiding your own emotions, considering them unimportant or a sign of weakness.
But avoiding emotions comes at a high cost. Unacknowledged feelings can manifest in unhealthy ways, such as physical illness, anxiety, depression, or addictive behaviours. For example, repressed anger might turn into chronic stress or even physical symptoms like headaches and fatigue. Suppressed sadness can lead to depression or emotional numbness.
The “Feel to Heal” approach encourages you to break this cycle of emotional avoidance. Rather than fearing your emotions, you can learn to view them as vital messages from your body and mind, guiding you toward what you need to heal.
5 Steps to Start Feeling Your Emotions
If you’re not used to allowing yourself to feel deeply, it can be challenging to know where to begin.
Here are some practical steps to help you reconnect with your emotions:
1. Create a Safe Space
Healing emotionally requires safety. Whether it’s setting aside time alone or being with a trusted friend or therapist, ensure you’re in an environment where you can be vulnerable without fear of judgement. You might remember from Set Clear Boundaries (Card 12) that protecting yourself from external negative influences is crucial during this phase.
2. Identify and Name Your Emotions
One of the most effective ways to reconnect with your emotional world is to start identifying and naming your emotions. Are you feeling anger, sadness, or fear? Once you name your emotion, it becomes more manageable. As you explored in Journal Your Journey (Card 22), writing down what you feel can help make it clearer.
3. Practice Mindfulness
As highlighted in Practice Mindfulness (Card 15), mindfulness is an excellent tool for staying grounded in the present moment. When you notice an emotion rising, take a few deep breaths (Blissful Breathing Card Deck), stay present, and observe your feelings without judgement. Mindfulness helps you acknowledge your emotions without letting them take over.
4. Allow Yourself to Feel
It’s natural to want to avoid painful emotions. However, true healing happens when you allow yourself to feel fully. When sadness arises, instead of distracting yourself or pushing it away, sit with it. This process, while uncomfortable, is the gateway to emotional freedom.
5. Release Through Expression
Once you’ve felt your emotions, the next step is to release them. This can happen through talking to a friend, journaling (card 22), or even physical activities like yoga (Chair Yoga Card Deck) or Pilates (Joseph Pilates Card Deck). Emotions are energy in motion—when you express them, you allow that energy to move through and out of your body.
Tools for Processing Difficult Emotions
Healing from narcissistic abuse can stir up a wide range of emotions. Here are a few tools you can use to support your emotional journey:
Journaling: As introduced in Journal Your Journey (Card 22), writing is a powerful way to process feelings. Try freewriting about what you feel without censoring yourself.
Therapy: Therapy Is Strength (Card 25) encourages seeking professional help when necessary. Therapy can provide a safe space to process difficult emotions and work through trauma.
Art or Music Therapy: Creative expression can be a non-verbal way to access and release deep emotions. Art therapy (Acrylic Figure Painting For Beginners Card Deck) or music therapy can help unlock feelings that are difficult to express with words.
Breathwork: Deep yogic breathing (Blissful Breathing Card Deck) can help you regulate your nervous system, making it easier to handle intense emotions.
The Top 4 Benefits of Feeling Your Emotions
Allowing yourself to feel your emotions brings many benefits, especially when healing from narcissistic abuse:
Greater Self-Awareness: When you allow yourself to feel, you develop a deeper understanding of yourself. You learn what triggers certain emotions and gain clarity about your needs and boundaries.
Emotional Release: Feeling your emotions allows them to pass through you, rather than getting stuck. This release prevents emotions from building up and causing more distress later.
Increased Resilience: When you face your emotions, you become more emotionally resilient. You realise that you can handle difficult feelings and grow stronger in the process.
Improved Relationships: Understanding your emotions leads to better communication and healthier boundaries in relationships. You’re more likely to express what you need and respect others’ emotions as well.
Emotional Healing Takes Time
It’s important to recognise that emotional healing is not linear. Some days, you may feel empowered and strong, while others may bring up deep pain. This is normal. The key is to remain patient with yourself and allow the healing process to unfold naturally.
If you’ve been practising Self-Compassion (Card 18) and Rebuilding Trust in Yourself (Card 17), you’re already on the path to healing. By feeling your emotions, you take another essential step toward recovery.
Conclusion: Embrace the Journey of Feeling
“Feel to Heal” is a crucial concept for anyone recovering from narcissistic abuse. Allowing yourself to fully experience your emotions is not only necessary for healing, but it’s also a radical act of self-love. When you stop avoiding your feelings and begin to embrace them, you reclaim your power, step into your truth, and move closer to emotional freedom.
If you’re working through the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck and have tackled cards like Release the Guilt (Card 24) and Therapy Is Strength (Card 25), then “Feel to Heal” offers you the next crucial step. Let your emotions guide you toward healing. And remember, feeling is strength, not weakness.
If you want to explore these and other strategies in-depth, I encourage you to check out the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck for guidance on your journey.
Here’s a look at the full deck:
Narcissist Mind Games (10 Cards)
- Gaslighting
- Triangulation
- Love-Bombing
- Silent Treatment
- Projection
- Blame Shifting
- Future Faking
- Flying Monkeys
- Smear Campaigns
- Hoovering
Self-Care & Boundaries (10 Cards)
- Reclaim Your Time
- Set Clear Boundaries
- No Is a Complete Sentence
- Limit Contact
- Practice Mindfulness
- Healthy Detachment
- Rebuild Trust in Yourself
- Self-Compassion
- Guard Your Energy
- Disconnect Digitally
Healing from Trauma (10 Cards)
- Acknowledge the Pain
- Journal Your Journey
- Practice Gratitude
- Release the Guilt
- Therapy Is Strength
- Feel to Heal
- Reconnect with Your Body
- Affirm Your Worth
- Focus on the Present
- Time Heals
Recognising Red Flags (8 Cards)
- Lack of Empathy
- Extreme Charm
- Need for Control
- Quick Intimacy
- No Accountability
- Inconsistent Behaviour
- Lack of Boundaries
- Isolating You
Empowerment & Rebuilding (8 Cards)
- Reclaim Your Power
- Find Your Voice
- Celebrate Small Wins
- Visualise Your Future
- Rebuild Your Identity
- Surround Yourself with Positivity
- Redefine Your Worth
- Embrace Freedom
Support Systems & Moving Forward (6 Cards)
- Find Your Tribe
- Share Your Story
- Healthy Relationships Exist
- No Contact Is Power
- Stay Educated
- Forgive Yourself First
Click here to explore the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck in full and take the first step in your healing journey.
By George Watts
