Card Category
Support Systems & Moving Forward
Card Number
This is card 50 of 52 of the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck
Card Overview
Card 50 of the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck introduces one of the most powerful tools in the journey of recovery—No Contact. After enduring narcissistic abuse, many survivors discover that cutting ties completely is the most liberating, empowering step they can take. Yet, while the concept of No Contact may seem straightforward, it’s one of the hardest boundaries to enforce, particularly when dealing with a manipulative narcissist. This post will delve into why No Contact is such a powerful tool for healing, how to implement it, and ways to maintain this boundary effectively.
If you haven’t yet, you can get the full Surviving Narcissism Card Deck here – each card dives deep into the various manipulations and healing strategies to guide your recovery.
Table Of Contents
The Importance of No Contact in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
No Contact is more than just a temporary break from the narcissist—it is an essential survival strategy.
The damage caused by narcissistic abuse often runs deep, impacting your emotional well-being, self-esteem, and even physical health. Narcissists thrive on controlling and manipulating their victims, and without firm boundaries, it’s easy to be sucked back into their toxic behaviour.
No Contact is a critical step in regaining control over your own life. It gives you the space to heal, to rediscover your worth, and to rebuild your identity without the constant manipulation or criticism. Cutting off all communication with a narcissist may be the only way to stop them from continuing to drain your energy, disrupt your peace, and manipulate your emotions. As you learned from Guard Your Energy (Card 19), protecting yourself from further emotional drain is paramount in your recovery.
What Does No Contact Really Mean?
No Contact means completely cutting ties with the narcissist.
This includes:
- No phone calls
- No text messages
- No emails
- No social media interactions
- No physical meetings
- No contact through third parties
The goal is to eliminate all possible ways for the narcissist to reach you and manipulate you again. This boundary may seem extreme, but it is vital. Any small crack in communication can lead to further manipulation tactics like Hoovering (Card 10), where the narcissist tries to reel you back into their control by making false promises, apologising, or acting like they’ve changed.
Why Going No Contact Is So Hard
Going No Contact is easier said than done, and survivors often feel conflicted about taking this step.
Several factors make No Contact challenging:
Emotional Attachment: Even though narcissistic relationships are toxic, survivors often feel a deep emotional attachment to the abuser. This is partly due to the trauma bonding that occurs in such relationships, where intermittent kindness, affection, and manipulation create a complex emotional connection.
Fear of Retaliation: Narcissists don’t like losing control, and they may retaliate when you try to go No Contact. This can manifest as Smear Campaigns (Card 9), where they spread lies about you to mutual friends or colleagues in an attempt to ruin your reputation.
Guilt: Narcissists are experts at shifting blame. You may feel guilty for abandoning them, particularly if they play the victim card. They might accuse you of being cruel or selfish, making it difficult to stand firm in your decision.
Shared Responsibilities: If you share children, pets, or financial ties, going No Contact becomes more complicated. In these cases, it’s essential to find ways to limit contact to only what’s absolutely necessary – see Limit Contact (Card 14).
5 Tools (Card Decks) to Aid Your Healing Journey
There are practical tools that can support your healing journey. Yoga, breathing techniques, and other mindfulness practices help reconnect you with your body and ground your emotions, which is especially important after narcissistic abuse.
Blissful Breathing Card Deck: This deck offers breathing exercises that can help calm the nervous system and restore a sense of peace. Use these cards to manage anxiety and stress, which are common after emotional trauma.
Chair Yoga Card Deck: Designed for individuals of all levels, this deck provides gentle yoga exercises that you can do from a chair. Yoga is an excellent way to reconnect with your body after the disconnection often caused by narcissistic relationships.
Face Yoga Card Deck: This unique deck focuses on facial exercises to release tension held in the face and neck. This is a great tool to release the physical manifestations of stress.
101 Mini Yoga Cards: These mini cards offer short yoga sequences that fit into any schedule, perfect for integrating moments of mindfulness throughout your day.
Joseph Pilates Card Deck: Inspired by the teachings of Joseph Pilates, this deck promotes body alignment and core strength. It’s a fantastic way to physically strengthen yourself while rebuilding emotional resilience.
How to Implement No Contact
Deciding to go No Contact is empowering, but putting it into practice can be tough.
Here’s a step-by-step guide to make the process more manageable:
1. Block All Communication Channels
Start by blocking the narcissist on all platforms—phone, social media, email, etc. If you’re worried about missing important information (e.g., financial matters or children’s arrangements), have a trusted friend or family member act as an intermediary.
2. Set Clear Boundaries with Mutual Connections
Mutual friends, co-workers, or even family members may inadvertently serve as the narcissist’s messengers. Politely but firmly inform them that you are no longer in contact with the narcissist and that you do not want to receive any updates or messages from them.
3. Prepare for Backlash
Going No Contact may provoke the narcissist, leading to Flying Monkeys (Card 8), where the narcissist recruits others to convince you to engage again. Be prepared for manipulation tactics from these enablers, and remember why you chose to go No Contact in the first place.
4. Seek Professional Help
Going No Contact can trigger a flood of emotions, including fear, anxiety, and grief. Consider seeking support from a therapist experienced in narcissistic abuse to help navigate these feelings. Therapy is a valuable tool, as highlighted in Therapy Is Strength (Card 25).
The Benefits of No Contact
Once you’ve successfully implemented No Contact, the benefits are immense.
These benefits include:
1. Emotional Freedom
Without the narcissist’s constant manipulation, gaslighting, or criticisms, you can finally experience emotional freedom. This allows you to focus on your healing and to begin reclaiming your life, as explored in Reclaim Your Time (Card 11).
2. Rebuilding Self-Worth
Narcissistic abuse often leaves survivors feeling worthless. When you’re no longer subject to the narcissist’s belittling comments, you can begin to rebuild your self-esteem. Affirm Your Worth (Card 28) is a vital part of this process, as you start to remind yourself of your value and potential.
3. Clarity and Peace of Mind
Narcissists create chaos. When you’re in constant contact with them, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s real and what’s manipulation. Gaslighting (Card 1) can make you question your own reality. With No Contact, you gain the clarity and peace of mind to see through the manipulation and focus on your truth.
4. More Time for Healthy Relationships
Once you cut ties with the narcissist, you free up emotional and physical space for healthier relationships. You can seek out friendships, family connections, or romantic relationships with people who treat you with respect and kindness.
Alternatives to No Contact: The Grey Rock Method
For some, especially those who share children or other ties with the narcissist, going completely No Contact may be impossible. In these cases, the Grey Rock Method can be a useful strategy.
“The Grey Rock Method involves making your interactions with the narcissist as uninteresting and unemotional as possible.”
By responding to them in a flat, monotone manner and avoiding any emotional reactions, you become “boring” to the narcissist, reducing their interest in manipulating you.
101 Ways to Gain Positive Contacts With "Normal" People
Most people are “normal”. So, don’t close your heart to new contacts.
Building positive connections is essential for personal growth, happiness, and resilience.
Whether you’re looking to expand your social circle, grow your professional network, or simply find supportive, like-minded people, there are countless ways to foster meaningful relationships. From attending events to joining clubs, volunteering, or even leveraging online platforms, the possibilities for creating positive contacts are endless. The following 101 suggestions offer diverse approaches to meeting new people and cultivating healthy, uplifting relationships in both personal and professional realms.
Start exploring these ideas and watch your support system grow!
101 Ways to Gain Positive Contacts:
- Attend local networking events to meet like-minded individuals.
- Join a book club to connect with others who share similar interests.
- Volunteer for a cause you’re passionate about to meet positive, caring people.
- Take up a new hobby or class to meet people in a casual setting.
- Participate in community events, such as fairs and festivals, to network with others.
- Join an online forum or social media group based on your interests.
- Reach out to old friends you’ve lost touch with to rekindle positive relationships.
- Attend workshops or seminars related to your profession or hobbies.
- Collaborate on a project with a colleague or acquaintance.
- Create or join a mastermind group to support each other’s growth.
- Join a gym or fitness class to connect with people who value health.
- Attend alumni events for your school or university.
- Sign up for a public speaking or leadership course to meet motivated individuals.
- Participate in charity runs or marathons to connect with like-minded individuals.
- Join a professional association related to your career.
- Attend conferences or conventions in your field.
- Take part in local meetups that align with your personal or professional interests.
- Use LinkedIn to connect with professionals in your industry.
- Network with parents at your child’s school or extracurricular activities.
- Start a podcast or blog to engage with a new audience.
- Ask for introductions from mutual friends or colleagues.
- Follow up with people you meet at events to maintain the connection.
- Participate in networking breakfasts or lunches.
- Get involved with local politics or community boards.
- Attend a cultural event, such as a museum exhibition or play, and strike up conversations.
- Join a spiritual or religious group to meet supportive individuals.
- Organise a potluck or casual gathering with friends and encourage them to bring guests.
- Reach out to someone whose work you admire to start a conversation.
- Attend local farmer’s markets and talk to vendors and shoppers.
- Engage in online communities focused on personal growth and positivity.
- Offer to mentor someone to build a positive relationship.
- Attend speed networking events to meet many people in a short time.
- Reach out to local businesses for potential collaborations.
- Attend TEDx or other speaker events to meet intellectual and forward-thinking people.
- Take part in online courses that include community interaction.
- Participate in co-working spaces to meet other professionals.
- Host or attend a game night or trivia night.
- Join a wine tasting club to meet people in a relaxed environment.
- Volunteer for a political campaign to meet active, engaged individuals.
- Reach out to influencers or content creators in your niche.
- Join a sports team or league to meet people with shared interests.
- Attend networking events designed for entrepreneurs and business owners.
- Start or join a local book exchange to meet fellow book lovers.
- Get involved in environmental groups or community gardening.
- Take a photography or art class and meet people through shared creativity.
- Attend a language exchange group to meet people from different cultures.
- Get involved in your neighbourhood association or residents’ group.
- Take up martial arts or self-defense classes to meet disciplined, positive individuals.
- Join Toastmasters or a similar public speaking group.
- Organise a clothing or book swap among friends and their acquaintances.
- Take a cooking or baking class to meet food enthusiasts.
- Participate in hackathons or coding workshops.
- Start or join a walking or hiking group.
- Attend online webinars and follow up with the attendees.
- Be active in the comments of podcasts, blogs, or social media you follow.
- Start a positive affirmation group to encourage personal growth and connection.
- Offer your skills for free to a non-profit in exchange for networking opportunities.
- Attend art gallery openings or craft fairs to meet creative individuals.
- Participate in Reddit AMA (Ask Me Anything) sessions in your field.
- Join a dog-walking group or visit a dog park to meet fellow animal lovers.
- Participate in beach cleanups or other environmental events.
- Attend food festivals and connect with fellow foodies.
- Join a co-op or community-supported agriculture group to meet health-conscious people.
- Be active on Twitter or other social platforms, sharing and engaging with positive content.
- Join a mastermind group in your area of interest.
- Take up a team-building adventure activity, such as an escape room or group kayaking.
- Go to creative writing workshops to meet other writers and creatives.
- Join a choir or local music group.
- Take part in local trivia or quiz nights at pubs or cafes.
- Attend a meditation or wellness retreat to meet people focused on self-improvement.
- Reach out to thought leaders in your field through email or social media.
- Organise a clean-up event in your local community and invite others to join.
- Write guest posts for blogs and websites to widen your network.
- Attend local farmers’ markets and festivals and strike up conversations with vendors.
- Take a leadership role in a community or online group.
- Participate in online Twitter chats relevant to your niche.
- Attend motivational talks or book launches.
- Participate in hackathons or innovation events to meet problem-solvers.
- Attend a cultural cooking class to bond over shared meals.
- Help organise a fundraiser for a cause you care about.
- Visit coworking spaces or cafes with a friendly, social atmosphere.
- Attend local sports events to meet fellow fans.
- Organise or attend virtual happy hours with colleagues or peers.
- Start an interest-based WhatsApp or Facebook group to connect with others.
- Mentor someone from a younger generation in your field.
- Attend start-up pitch events to meet aspiring entrepreneurs.
- Go to public libraries’ reading or cultural events.
- Connect with people through a travel or adventure group.
- Join online groups for freelancers or remote workers.
- Participate in local or international travel meetups.
- Organise a community picnic or outdoor movie night.
- Collaborate with influencers or thought leaders in your field.
- Visit craft fairs or flea markets to connect with local artisans.
- Engage with others through positive comments on YouTube or blogs.
- Offer free workshops or talks in your area of expertise.
- Attend positive psychology workshops or events.
- Volunteer as a guide at a local museum or tourist spot.
- Take a music or dance class to meet people with a shared passion.
- Organise or attend a community yoga class or retreat.
- Participate in online or local writing challenges.
- Attend spiritual gatherings for a supportive network.
Conclusion: No Contact Is Power
Below are some healing resources (card decks) I’ve created that may help you on your healing journey:
- Surviving Narcissism Card Deck
- Blissful Breathing Card Deck
- Chair Yoga Card Deck
- 101 Mini Yoga Cards
- Pilates Matwork Card Deck
No Contact is more than just a strategy—it’s an act of reclaiming your power, autonomy, and emotional well-being. It might be one of the hardest steps you take, but it’s also one of the most transformative. By going No Contact, you’re not only cutting off the narcissist’s influence but also giving yourself the gift of healing, clarity, and peace.
Remember, No Contact is a choice you make to prioritise your mental health and emotional recovery. It’s an act of self-love and protection that allows you to move forward and thrive. Whether you’re beginning your journey or deep into the healing process, know that you are capable of reclaiming your life and finding peace beyond the chaos of narcissistic abuse.
If you want to explore these and other strategies in-depth, I encourage you to check out the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck for guidance on your journey.
Here’s a look at the full deck:
Narcissist Mind Games (10 Cards)
- Gaslighting
- Triangulation
- Love-Bombing
- Silent Treatment
- Projection
- Blame Shifting
- Future Faking
- Flying Monkeys
- Smear Campaigns
- Hoovering
Self-Care & Boundaries (10 Cards)
- Reclaim Your Time
- Set Clear Boundaries
- No Is a Complete Sentence
- Limit Contact
- Practice Mindfulness
- Healthy Detachment
- Rebuild Trust in Yourself
- Self-Compassion
- Guard Your Energy
- Disconnect Digitally
Healing from Trauma (10 Cards)
- Acknowledge the Pain
- Journal Your Journey
- Practice Gratitude
- Release the Guilt
- Therapy Is Strength
- Feel to Heal
- Reconnect with Your Body
- Affirm Your Worth
- Focus on the Present
- Time Heals
Recognising Red Flags (8 Cards)
- Lack of Empathy
- Extreme Charm
- Need for Control
- Quick Intimacy
- No Accountability
- Inconsistent Behaviour
- Lack of Boundaries
- Isolating You
Empowerment & Rebuilding (8 Cards)
- Reclaim Your Power
- Find Your Voice
- Celebrate Small Wins
- Visualise Your Future
- Rebuild Your Identity
- Surround Yourself with Positivity
- Redefine Your Worth
- Embrace Freedom
Support Systems & Moving Forward (6 Cards)
- Find Your Tribe
- Share Your Story
- Healthy Relationships Exist
- No Contact Is Power
- Stay Educated
- Forgive Yourself First
Click here to explore the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck in full and take the first step in your healing journey.
By George Watts
