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Card Category
Empowerment & Rebuilding
Card Number
This is card 44 of 52 of the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck
Card Overview
Rebuilding after narcissistic abuse is a complex process, requiring not just emotional healing but also a reassessment of the relationships in your life. As you emerge from the manipulation, control, and emotional trauma that narcissistic abuse entails, it becomes crucial to surround yourself with people who support, uplift, and encourage your growth. Card 44 in the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck—Positive People—focuses on the importance of finding and nurturing these empowering connections to rebuild your sense of self and reclaim your life.
If you’ve been following along, this card builds on the foundation laid by previous ones like Card 17 – Rebuild Trust in Yourself and Card 12 – Set Clear Boundaries, emphasising the importance of who you allow into your personal space after enduring a toxic relationship.
If you haven’t yet, you can get the full Surviving Narcissism Card Deck here – each card dives deep into the various manipulations and healing strategies to guide your recovery.
Table Of Contents
The Importance of Positive People
Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people is essential in your recovery from narcissistic abuse.
These relationships act as emotional anchors, helping you restore a sense of self-worth and rebuild your confidence. The narcissist likely worked to isolate you from supportive influences, as seen in Card 38 – Isolating You, creating a dependency on them while undermining your other relationships. Now, as you distance yourself from that harmful dynamic, it’s time to reconnect with those who offer genuine encouragement.
Engaging with positive people helps you heal by providing a contrasting experience to the manipulative behaviours you may have endured, such as the gaslighting and love-bombing explored in Card 1 – Gaslighting and Card 3 – Love-Bombing. Healthy relationships can offer trust, validation, and a safe space for you to express yourself authentically—free from judgment or control.
Nurturing Healthy Relationships
It’s essential to be intentional about the kind of relationships you foster during your healing process. While the damage caused by a narcissist can make it difficult to trust others, it’s crucial to rebuild this trust—first in yourself and then in others. Card 17 – Rebuild Trust in Yourself outlines how to re-establish that inner trust, which is the foundation upon which you’ll build healthier external relationships.
Positive people help you feel seen and valued without the manipulative games or hidden agendas typical in a narcissistic relationship. By contrast, in toxic relationships, narcissists often surround themselves with “flying monkeys,” or enablers, who can perpetuate the narcissist’s control, as discussed in Card 8 – Flying Monkeys. Positive people, on the other hand, are genuinely invested in your growth and wellbeing.
One powerful tool for enhancing your recovery is Card 22 – Journal Your Journey. Journaling helps you track the supportive relationships you’re building and reflect on how these positive connections are contributing to your healing. With time, you’ll see how these new relationships stand in stark contrast to the emotional manipulation and control you endured.
Qualities of Positive People
So, what qualities should you seek in the people who support you during your healing journey?
Positive individuals typically share some or all of the following traits:
- Empathy and Compassion: These individuals genuinely care about your feelings and experiences. They listen without judgment and offer validation instead of undermining your emotions like narcissists often do.
- Encouragement: Positive people cheer for your victories, no matter how small. This ties into the importance of celebrating incremental progress, as noted in Card 41 – Celebrate Small Wins.
- Healthy Boundaries: Positive relationships include respect for each other’s personal space and boundaries, a stark contrast to the boundary violations you may have experienced in your past, as detailed in Card 37 – Lack of Boundaries.
- Genuine Support: Unlike narcissists who manipulate for their own benefit, positive people support you without expecting anything in return. They genuinely want to see you thrive.
As you rebuild your life, focus on fostering these kinds of connections and let go of anyone who brings toxic energy into your space.
Top 4 Ways to Attract Positive People
Attracting positive people into your life requires a shift in mindset. As you heal, your energy and emotional state naturally change, drawing supportive, like-minded individuals to you.
There are a few steps you can take to cultivate this shift:
- Be Mindful of Your Own Energy: As highlighted in Card 19 – Guard Your Energy, guarding your energy is key. When you prioritise your own emotional health, you become more discerning about the people you allow into your life. Toxic individuals will find it harder to infiltrate your space.
- Set Clear Boundaries: We’ve covered the importance of boundaries in Card 12 – Set Clear Boundaries. Being clear about your emotional and physical limits not only protects you but also sets the stage for healthy relationships to flourish.
- Focus on Gratitude: According to Card 23 – Practice Gratitude, focusing on the positive aspects of your life helps to shift your perspective and draw more positive energy towards you. By practising gratitude, you attract people who reflect that same positive energy.
- Engage in Activities that Bring You Joy: When you engage in activities that bring you genuine happiness—whether it’s yoga, painting, or spending time in nature—you naturally attract people who share those same passions. For example, exploring the techniques in my Blissful Breathing Card Deck or Chair Yoga Card Deck can introduce you to communities of people who prioritise wellness and mindfulness.
19 Additional Ways To Attract Positive People
Here’s a list of 19 additional ways to attract positive people into your life:
- Be Authentic: Show up as your true self, and you’ll attract people who appreciate you for who you genuinely are.
- Join Interest-Based Groups: Whether it’s a yoga class, painting workshop, or book club, join communities that align with your interests and values.
- Volunteer: Helping others attracts compassionate, kind-hearted individuals who are focused on giving back.
- Practice Active Listening: When you engage fully in conversations, you create meaningful connections that draw positive people towards you.
- Stay Optimistic: Positive people are drawn to others who look for the good in life. Focus on gratitude and staying hopeful in challenging times.
- Show Kindness: Simple acts of kindness make you more approachable and attract people who value empathy.
- Surround Yourself with Positivity: By surrounding yourself with positive books, podcasts, and environments, you’ll naturally meet others who are on a similar path.
- Be Open to New Experiences: Step outside your comfort zone and try new things. This opens the door to meeting positive, adventurous people.
- Avoid Gossip: Stay away from negative conversations. By avoiding gossip, you’ll attract those who prefer uplifting interactions.
- Celebrate Others’ Successes: Be the person who genuinely celebrates the achievements of others, and you’ll naturally attract supportive people.
- Stay Present: Being mindful and present in each moment creates deeper, more meaningful connections with those around you.
- Embrace Vulnerability: Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and open. It invites authenticity from others and helps build stronger bonds.
- Lead by Example: Be the type of person you wish to attract. By living in alignment with your values, you’ll draw like-minded individuals.
- Maintain a Positive Online Presence: Use your social media to share positive, uplifting content, attracting others who value the same.
- Smile More: A genuine smile can be contagious and draw positive, friendly people into your orbit.
- Practice Forgiveness: Let go of grudges and past resentments. People who value emotional health and healing will naturally be drawn to you.
- Be Patient: Building a circle of positive people takes time. Be patient and trust that the right people will come into your life.
- Trust Your Intuition: Pay attention to how you feel around others. Your intuition will guide you toward positive people and away from toxic ones.
- Offer Support Without Expectation: Be a source of encouragement for others. People who value genuine, mutual support will be drawn to your energy.
These steps, combined with your intentional healing and growth, will help you build a circle of positive and empowering relationships.
Building Your Support Network
Building a support network is not about quantity but quality.
Start by identifying the people in your life who consistently show up for you in a meaningful way. These could be family members, old friends, or even new connections who understand your journey. As discussed in Card 25 – Therapy Is Strength, seeking therapy or joining support groups can also connect you with individuals who have shared experiences, providing you with a nurturing environment for growth.
It’s also helpful to evaluate your current relationships. Are there individuals who drain your energy or don’t respect your boundaries? Limiting or cutting ties with toxic people, as outlined in Card 14 – Limit Contact, is crucial to making space for healthier connections.
Conclusion: Reclaiming Your Life by Embracing Positive Relationships
Below are some healing resources (card decks) I’ve created that may help you on your healing journey:
- Surviving Narcissism Card Deck
- Blissful Breathing Card Deck
- Chair Yoga Card Deck
- 101 Mini Yoga Cards
- Pilates Matwork Card Deck
Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people is essential for rebuilding your life after narcissistic abuse. By being intentional about the relationships you nurture, setting clear boundaries, and focusing on your own wellbeing, you can create a network of uplifting individuals who help you heal, grow, and rediscover your sense of self. These connections will be vital as you continue to reclaim your power and rebuild your identity.
If you want to explore these and other strategies in-depth, I encourage you to check out the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck for guidance on your journey.
Here’s a look at the full deck:
Narcissist Mind Games (10 Cards)
- Gaslighting
- Triangulation
- Love-Bombing
- Silent Treatment
- Projection
- Blame Shifting
- Future Faking
- Flying Monkeys
- Smear Campaigns
- Hoovering
Self-Care & Boundaries (10 Cards)
- Reclaim Your Time
- Set Clear Boundaries
- No Is a Complete Sentence
- Limit Contact
- Practice Mindfulness
- Healthy Detachment
- Rebuild Trust in Yourself
- Self-Compassion
- Guard Your Energy
- Disconnect Digitally
Healing from Trauma (10 Cards)
- Acknowledge the Pain
- Journal Your Journey
- Practice Gratitude
- Release the Guilt
- Therapy Is Strength
- Feel to Heal
- Reconnect with Your Body
- Affirm Your Worth
- Focus on the Present
- Time Heals
Recognising Red Flags (8 Cards)
- Lack of Empathy
- Extreme Charm
- Need for Control
- Quick Intimacy
- No Accountability
- Inconsistent Behaviour
- Lack of Boundaries
- Isolating You
Empowerment & Rebuilding (8 Cards)
- Reclaim Your Power
- Find Your Voice
- Celebrate Small Wins
- Visualise Your Future
- Rebuild Your Identity
- Surround Yourself with Positivity
- Redefine Your Worth
- Embrace Freedom
Support Systems & Moving Forward (6 Cards)
- Find Your Tribe
- Share Your Story
- Healthy Relationships Exist
- No Contact Is Power
- Stay Educated
- Forgive Yourself First
Click here to explore the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck in full and take the first step in your healing journey.
By George Watts
