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Card Category
Empowerment & Rebuilding
Card Number
This is card 45 of 52 of the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck
Card Overview
Welcome to Card 45 of the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck, where we dive into the empowering journey of rediscovering and redefining your worth after narcissistic abuse. After experiencing manipulation, gaslighting, blame-shifting, and emotional turmoil, your sense of self-worth can be diminished or even lost entirely. This post is here to help you reclaim it, brick by brick.
Understanding your value is critical in rebuilding your life. Whether you’re just starting your healing journey or have been working on recovery for a while, Card 45—Redefine Your Worth—invites you to shift your focus inward, tapping into the strength you have always had. As we explore this card, we will reference other pivotal cards from the deck to help integrate this transformation process into your daily life.
If you haven’t yet, you can get the full Surviving Narcissism Card Deck here – each card dives deep into the various manipulations and healing strategies to guide your recovery.
Table Of Contents
Acknowledge the Damage, But Know You Are Not Defined by It
One of the first steps in redefining your worth is acknowledging the emotional and psychological damage caused by narcissistic abuse. You may have experienced behaviours such as gaslighting (Card 1) or blame shifting (Card 6), which can leave you questioning your own reality and identity. It’s essential to recognise that this damage does not define you. Instead, it is a byproduct of the toxic relationship and not a reflection of your true self-worth.
The journey of healing involves accepting the pain, acknowledging the manipulations you endured, and allowing yourself to feel the emotions that arise, as discussed in Card 26—Feel to Heal. Through this process, you can begin to separate your identity from the abuse and reconnect with the real you.
Break Free from External Validation
Narcissists thrive on controlling others by making them dependent on external validation.
You may have been conditioned to seek approval from the narcissist for everything, from your appearance to your emotions, accomplishments, and even your sense of worth. One of the most liberating realisations in this journey is that your value is not dependent on anyone else’s opinion.
Rebuilding trust in yourself (Card 17) is key to reclaiming your sense of autonomy. By trusting your own intuition, judgments, and decisions, you can stop looking outside of yourself for validation. This is your life—define it on your terms.
Embrace Self-Compassion
After narcissistic abuse, it’s common to struggle with self-compassion, as the constant manipulation and blame may have eroded your self-love. But embracing self-compassion is a powerful tool for redefining your worth. When you give yourself permission to be kind to yourself, you foster a healthier internal dialogue and start seeing yourself as worthy of love, care, and understanding.
Refer to Card 18—Self-Compassion for ways to cultivate this quality. Start with small actions—whether it’s engaging in mindful breathing from the Blissful Breathing Card Deck, or simply taking time each day to recognise your progress in healing.
Set Clear Boundaries
Narcissistic abuse often involves the violation of boundaries, making it difficult for survivors to assert their needs. To redefine your worth, setting clear boundaries becomes non-negotiable. When you establish boundaries, you signal to yourself and others that you value your well-being and won’t tolerate harmful behaviour.
Refer back to Card 12—Set Clear Boundaries for practical strategies. The more you practice boundary-setting, the more you affirm your worth by showing that your needs, feelings, and time are important. Saying “no” when necessary becomes an act of self-respect (Card 12 – No Is A Complete Sentence), a reflection of how you now value yourself.
Affirm Your Worth With Positive Affirmations
It’s not uncommon to internalise the harsh criticisms and negative beliefs imposed by a narcissist.
To redefine your worth, it’s crucial to challenge and reframe these negative thoughts. Self-awareness is the first step; recognise when these damaging beliefs surface and replace them with affirmations that reflect your true value.
One of the best tools for this is Card 28—Affirm Your Worth. Try using affirmations such as: “I am enough as I am,” “I deserve love and respect,” or “My worth is inherent and does not need validation from others.” Repeat them daily, integrating them into your thought patterns.
Here’s a list of 101 affirmations to help affirm your worth:
- I am worthy of love and respect.
- I embrace my unique qualities.
- I am enough just as I am.
- My worth is not defined by others.
- I deserve to be treated with kindness.
- I honour my feelings and needs.
- I am deserving of happiness and joy.
- I am proud of who I am becoming.
- I believe in my abilities and strengths.
- My life has value and meaning.
- I am worthy of success and achievement.
- I accept myself unconditionally.
- I release negative self-talk and embrace positivity.
- I am capable of overcoming any challenge.
- I trust myself to make the right decisions.
- I celebrate my accomplishments, big and small.
- I am deserving of good things in life.
- I am a valuable person with much to offer.
- I am worthy of my dreams and aspirations.
- I choose to surround myself with positive influences.
- I deserve to take up space in this world.
- I am constantly growing and evolving.
- I appreciate my body and all it does for me.
- I trust the process of life.
- I am worthy of forgiveness and healing.
- I love myself for who I am today.
- I have the right to express my thoughts and feelings.
- I am deserving of rest and self-care.
- I am a source of inspiration to others.
- I let go of perfectionism and embrace progress.
- I am worthy of healthy relationships.
- I am confident in my decisions and choices.
- I honour my intuition and inner voice.
- I deserve to be happy and fulfilled.
- I am proud of my journey and experiences.
- I release the need for external validation.
- I accept compliments graciously and with gratitude.
- I am open to receiving love and support.
- I trust in my journey and its unfolding.
- I celebrate my individuality and uniqueness.
- I am a valuable part of my community.
- I am capable of achieving my goals.
- I deserve to feel safe and secure.
- I am enough, and I always have been.
- I let go of self-doubt and embrace confidence.
- I am worthy of success in my career.
- I forgive myself for past mistakes and learn from them.
- I am deserving of abundance and prosperity.
- I honour my needs and set healthy boundaries.
- I am a beautiful expression of life.
- I deserve to pursue my passions and interests.
- I embrace my imperfections and learn from them.
- I am worthy of love from myself and others.
- I trust my journey and the lessons it brings.
- I am a source of positivity and light.
- I celebrate my resilience and strength.
- I am deserving of joy in my everyday life.
- I believe in my capacity to create change.
- I am proud of my progress and achievements.
- I deserve to be heard and valued.
- I release limiting beliefs about my worth.
- I am open to new opportunities and experiences.
- I am worthy of self-love and acceptance.
- I appreciate my mind, body, and spirit.
- I deserve to live a fulfilling life.
- I trust my journey, even when it feels difficult.
- I embrace my talents and skills.
- I am worthy of love and compassion.
- I accept myself completely and without reservation.
- I am deserving of healthy, fulfilling relationships.
- I honour my feelings and give them space.
- I celebrate my successes and acknowledge my efforts.
- I am worthy of pursuing my passions.
- I trust in my ability to navigate challenges.
- I deserve to feel joy and happiness.
- I acknowledge my worthiness and inherent value.
- I am proud of my contributions to the world.
- I am worthy of respect and kindness.
- I embrace the beauty of my uniqueness.
- I am deserving of nurturing and support.
- I trust my instincts and intuition.
- I am enough, and I always will be.
- I release fear and embrace confidence.
- I celebrate my journey and growth.
- I am worthy of self-care and rest.
- I am deserving of love from myself.
- I honour my worth in all areas of life.
- I trust that I am on the right path.
- I am capable of achieving great things.
- I deserve to live authentically and true to myself.
- I release the need to compare myself to others.
- I am proud of my authenticity and individuality.
- I am worthy of joy and laughter.
- I trust in my power to create a fulfilling life.
- I am deserving of all the good that comes my way.
- I honour my boundaries and protect my energy.
- I embrace my journey with open arms.
- I am worthy of my dreams and aspirations.
- I release negativity and invite positivity into my life.
- I trust that I am enough just as I am.
- I celebrate the unique gift that I am to the world.
Feel free to choose any of these affirmations that resonate with you or use them as inspiration to create your own!
Surround Yourself with Positive People
As you redefine your worth, the company you keep becomes especially important.
Narcissistic relationships are often filled with negativity, manipulation, and control. Once free, surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people can make a profound difference in your healing journey.
Refer to Card 44—Positive People for guidance on how to attract the right individuals into your life. Build a circle that uplifts you and reinforces the new sense of value you are cultivating.
Visualise Your Future Self
Consider using visualisation as a powerful tool in redefining your worth.
Envision your future self—someone who is strong, confident, and clear in their value. Create a vivid mental image of who you are becoming and remind yourself of this vision every day.
Refer to Card 42—Visualise Your Future. Visualisation can help you stay focused on your personal growth, even on the toughest days.
Conclusion: You Define Your Worth
Below are some healing resources (card decks) I’ve created that may help you on your healing journey:
- Surviving Narcissism Card Deck
- Blissful Breathing Card Deck
- Chair Yoga Card Deck
- 101 Mini Yoga Cards
- Pilates Matwork Card Deck
Redefining your worth after narcissistic abuse is a transformative journey. It requires patience, compassion, and a commitment to breaking free from the toxic narratives imposed on you. Remember that your worth is not determined by anyone else—least of all a narcissist—but by the deep, intrinsic value you hold as a unique individual.
As you move forward, continue to integrate practices from earlier cards in the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck. Keep affirming your worth, setting boundaries, surrounding yourself with positive influences, and investing in your growth. You are worthy—always have been, and always will be.
If you want to explore these and other strategies in-depth, I encourage you to check out the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck for guidance on your journey.
Here’s a look at the full deck:
Narcissist Mind Games (10 Cards)
- Gaslighting
- Triangulation
- Love-Bombing
- Silent Treatment
- Projection
- Blame Shifting
- Future Faking
- Flying Monkeys
- Smear Campaigns
- Hoovering
Self-Care & Boundaries (10 Cards)
- Reclaim Your Time
- Set Clear Boundaries
- No Is a Complete Sentence
- Limit Contact
- Practice Mindfulness
- Healthy Detachment
- Rebuild Trust in Yourself
- Self-Compassion
- Guard Your Energy
- Disconnect Digitally
Healing from Trauma (10 Cards)
- Acknowledge the Pain
- Journal Your Journey
- Practice Gratitude
- Release the Guilt
- Therapy Is Strength
- Feel to Heal
- Reconnect with Your Body
- Affirm Your Worth
- Focus on the Present
- Time Heals
Recognising Red Flags (8 Cards)
- Lack of Empathy
- Extreme Charm
- Need for Control
- Quick Intimacy
- No Accountability
- Inconsistent Behaviour
- Lack of Boundaries
- Isolating You
Empowerment & Rebuilding (8 Cards)
- Reclaim Your Power
- Find Your Voice
- Celebrate Small Wins
- Visualise Your Future
- Rebuild Your Identity
- Surround Yourself with Positivity
- Redefine Your Worth
- Embrace Freedom
Support Systems & Moving Forward (6 Cards)
- Find Your Tribe
- Share Your Story
- Healthy Relationships Exist
- No Contact Is Power
- Stay Educated
- Forgive Yourself First
Click here to explore the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck in full and take the first step in your healing journey.
By George Watts
