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Card Category
Self Care & Boundaries
Card Number
This is card 20 of 52 of the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck
Card Overview
In today’s hyper-connected world, it can feel impossible to escape the noise of social media, messaging apps, and constant notifications. This is especially true when dealing with the emotional aftermath of narcissistic abuse, where every interaction can feel overwhelming. “Digitally Disconnect,” the 20th card in the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck, offers a crucial reminder of the importance of taking time to disconnect from the digital world. It’s not just about taking a break from your phone or laptop—it’s about protecting your mental and emotional energy.
In this blog post, we’ll explore why digitally disconnecting is vital for your recovery from narcissistic abuse and how it ties into some of the earlier cards in the deck, such as Limit Contact (Card 14), Healthy Detachment (Card 16), and Guard Your Energy (Card 19). We’ll also offer practical tips on how you can start adding digital disconnection to your self-care routine.
If you haven’t yet, you can get the full Surviving Narcissism Card Deck here – each card dives deep into the various manipulations and healing strategies to guide your recovery.
The Digital Age and Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse thrives in environments where control, manipulation, and emotional chaos can flourish.
In the past, this often required physical proximity, but in the age of smartphones and social media, a narcissist’s reach extends far beyond face-to-face interactions. Whether through text messages, social media posts, or constant emails, narcissists often use digital platforms to:
- Maintain control: They might send manipulative messages, use social media to triangulate, or employ flying monkeys to stir drama.
- Hoovering attempts: Narcissists may try to pull you back into their cycle of abuse through flattery or guilt-laden messages, even after you’ve ended the relationship. The practice of hoovering, as discussed in Card 10: Hoovering, can continue indefinitely through digital means.
- Silent Treatment: Even the absence of communication can be harmful. Narcissists may use digital silence as a form of punishment, echoing the tactics covered in Card 4: Silent Treatment.
These digital behaviours make it difficult to heal because the narcissist can still access you anytime, keeping you in a constant state of emotional alert. This is why learning to disconnect from the digital world is essential for your well-being.
Why Disconnecting Matters
Digital disconnection serves as a boundary—a firm line between your mental health and the narcissist’s ability to invade your personal space. The practice of healthy detachment (Card 16) can help create emotional distance, but fully guarding your energy (Card 19) means ensuring that you’re not continuously absorbing the narcissist’s toxic influence through your phone or computer.
Here’s why disconnecting from the digital realm can be so important:
Digital Overload: Constant notifications and messages can create anxiety and emotional exhaustion. After enduring narcissistic abuse, your emotional reserves are already depleted, and staying connected to digital platforms can perpetuate that exhaustion.
Constant Comparison: Social media can trigger feelings of inadequacy. Seeing others’ seemingly perfect lives can make you question your own worth, which, after experiencing narcissistic abuse, can deepen the emotional wounds inflicted by gaslighting or blame shifting (as discussed in Card 1: Gaslighting and Card 6: Blame Shifting).
Reclaiming Control: Disconnecting from digital distractions allows you to reclaim control of your life. It gives you space to focus on your healing journey and frees you from the chaos and manipulation that the narcissist may continue to impose via digital means.
How to Digitally Disconnect for Healing
If you’ve recognised that digital disconnection is essential for your recovery from narcissistic abuse, here are some practical steps you can take:
1. Set Digital Boundaries
Much like you would establish physical boundaries, it’s crucial to set clear limits on your digital interactions. This ties into Card 12: Set Clear Boundaries, where we explored the importance of defining what you will and won’t tolerate.
Here’s how you can set digital boundaries:
Limit Social Media Usage: Consider taking a break from social media platforms where the narcissist or their enablers (Flying Monkeys from Card 8) might still have access to you. Limiting your time on social media can also protect you from emotional triggers.
Disable Notifications: Constant notifications can keep you in a heightened state of anxiety. Turn off non-essential notifications to give yourself peace of mind and more mental clarity.
Block and Mute: If the narcissist continues to harass or manipulate you through digital means, don’t hesitate to block or mute them on messaging apps, social media, or even email.
2. Create Tech-Free Zones
Dedicate specific areas in your home or specific times of the day when you are completely tech-free. For example, make your bedroom or dining area a phone-free zone. These spaces will become sanctuaries where you can focus on healing and reconnecting with yourself. In the same way that you need to reclaim your physical and emotional energy (as discussed in Card 11: Reclaim Your Time), reclaiming tech-free spaces can foster a sense of control and calm.
3. Engage in Mindful Activities
When you disconnect digitally, you open up space for more meaningful, mindful activities. Replacing screen time with activities like yoga (Chair Yoga Cards), reading, journaling, or practising mindfulness (Card 15: Practice Mindfulness) can help you ground yourself in the present moment and release digital stress.
Consider these activities:
Journaling: Document your thoughts, emotions, and progress in your recovery journey. This can help you process feelings that might otherwise be triggered by digital overload.
Yogic Breathing: Practising yogic breathing (Blissful Breathing Cards) helps you stay grounded in the present, distancing you from the emotional manipulation and mind games the narcissist might continue to employ through digital communication.
Pilates – Strengthen your body and mind with controlled movements. Get my Joseph Pilates Card Deck for a full-body workout.
Face Yoga – Relax and tone your facial muscles while promoting mindfulness and self-care. Check out my Face Yoga Card Deck for guidance.
Mantras – Sing mantras out loud or silently to yourself (Om) to calm your nervous system and centre your mind.
Body Scanning Meditation – Lie down and bring awareness to each part of your body, noticing tension or relaxation.
Mindful Walking – Walk slowly and attentively, paying attention to each step, the ground beneath you, and your surroundings.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation – Systematically tense and relax different muscle groups, promoting relaxation and awareness of bodily sensations.
Art Journaling – My go-to “mindful activity” is expressing my thoughts and emotions through painting (take a look at my Acrylic Figure Painting For Beginners Card Deck), focusing on the process rather than the outcome.
Mindful Cooking – Engage all your senses while preparing food, from smelling ingredients to appreciating textures and flavours.
How Disconnecting Helps You Heal from Narcissistic Abuse
While it may seem daunting to disconnect from your digital devices, doing so can significantly accelerate your healing.
By stepping back from the noise of the digital world, you allow yourself to:
Rebuild Trust in Yourself (Card 17): When you’re constantly exposed to narcissistic manipulation or reminders of their behaviour through social media, it can erode your confidence and self-worth. Taking a break from these platforms allows you to reconnect with your inner voice and rebuild trust in yourself.
Practise Self-Compassion (Card 18): Disengaging from the digital world helps you focus on self-compassion, allowing you to nurture and protect yourself. Instead of exposing yourself to harmful messages, focus on caring for your emotional well-being.
Limit Contact (Card 14): Digital disconnection also aligns with limiting contact with the narcissist. As you know, physical distance alone isn’t always enough, and digital tools allow for constant intrusion into your life. Limiting digital contact helps reinforce boundaries and maintain your emotional space.
Conclusion: Prioritising Your Mental Space
In conclusion, digitally disconnecting is about much more than just taking a break from your devices.
It’s a form of boundary-setting, a way of guarding your energy, and a vital part of your healing journey after narcissistic abuse. By taking intentional steps to disconnect, you can protect yourself from emotional manipulation and regain the mental clarity needed to focus on your self-care.
The Surviving Narcissism Card Deck has already highlighted the importance of setting boundaries (Set Clear Boundaries), guarding your emotional energy (Guard Your Energy), and practising mindfulness (Practice Mindfulness). By learning to digitally disconnect, you’re adding another powerful tool to your recovery arsenal.
It’s time to take back your time, energy, and peace of mind. Start by disconnecting from the digital chaos that surrounds you, and allow yourself the space to heal fully.
If you want to explore these and other strategies in-depth, I encourage you to check out the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck for guidance on your journey.
Here’s a look at the full deck:
Narcissist Mind Games (10 Cards)
- Gaslighting
- Triangulation
- Love-Bombing
- Silent Treatment
- Projection
- Blame Shifting
- Future Faking
- Flying Monkeys
- Smear Campaigns
- Hoovering
Self-Care & Boundaries (10 Cards)
- Reclaim Your Time
- Set Clear Boundaries
- No Is a Complete Sentence
- Limit Contact
- Practice Mindfulness
- Healthy Detachment
- Rebuild Trust in Yourself
- Self-Compassion
- Guard Your Energy
- Disconnect Digitally
Healing from Trauma (10 Cards)
- Acknowledge the Pain
- Journal Your Journey
- Practice Gratitude
- Release the Guilt
- Therapy Is Strength
- Feel to Heal
- Reconnect with Your Body
- Affirm Your Worth
- Focus on the Present
- Time Heals
Recognising Red Flags (8 Cards)
- Lack of Empathy
- Extreme Charm
- Need for Control
- Quick Intimacy
- No Accountability
- Inconsistent Behaviour
- Lack of Boundaries
- Isolating You
Empowerment & Rebuilding (8 Cards)
- Reclaim Your Power
- Find Your Voice
- Celebrate Small Wins
- Visualise Your Future
- Rebuild Your Identity
- Surround Yourself with Positivity
- Redefine Your Worth
- Embrace Freedom
Support Systems & Moving Forward (6 Cards)
- Find Your Tribe
- Share Your Story
- Healthy Relationships Exist
- No Contact Is Power
- Stay Educated
- Forgive Yourself First
Click here to explore the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck in full and take the first step in your healing journey.
By George Watts
