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Card Category
Healing From Trauma
Card Number
This is card 30 of 52 of the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck
Card Overview
Welcome to Card 30 of the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck. As we delve into the topic of time and healing, it is essential to recognise that recovery from narcissistic abuse is not a sprint but a marathon. Each step taken, no matter how small, contributes to your journey of reclaiming your life and sense of self-worth.
In the previous cards, we’ve explored various tools and techniques that can aid in this process, such as Acknowledge the Pain (Card 21), which emphasises the importance of recognising and confronting your feelings. Practice Gratitude (Card 23) encourages you to cultivate a mindset of appreciation, while Feel to Heal (Card 26) reminds you that allowing yourself to feel emotions is crucial to healing. All of these components play a significant role in the overarching theme that “time heals.”
As you read through this post, you’ll discover the significance of allowing yourself the necessary time to heal, along with practical steps you can take to support your recovery.
If you haven’t yet, you can get the full Surviving Narcissism Card Deck here – each card dives deep into the various manipulations and healing strategies to guide your recovery.
The Nature of Time in Healing
Healing is a deeply personal journey that unfolds at its own pace. For survivors of narcissistic abuse, the effects of emotional trauma can linger, often leading to feelings of inadequacy and frustration. It is essential to understand that healing is not linear; it’s a winding path filled with ups and downs. Time allows for reflection, growth, and ultimately, transformation.
The Role of Time in Recovery
Time for Reflection: Healing requires introspection and understanding of what has occurred. As time passes, you may gain new insights into your experiences, allowing you to make sense of the past and learn from it.
Time for Processing Emotions: Emotions can be complex, particularly after experiencing trauma. Time allows you to sit with your feelings, process them, and understand how they affect you. Rushing this process can lead to unresolved feelings and hinder your healing.
Time for Growth: Personal growth often happens gradually. With time, you may find that you begin to rediscover your strengths, build resilience, and develop new coping strategies. Each positive step, no matter how small, contributes to your overall progress.
Time for Rebuilding Trust: After enduring manipulation and emotional abuse, trust can be difficult to restore. Time is necessary to rebuild trust in yourself and others. It allows you to assess relationships critically and establish healthier boundaries.
Time to Create New Memories: Healing doesn’t mean forgetting the past; it means allowing space for new, positive experiences. As time goes on, you can create new memories that help overwrite the negative associations tied to past trauma.
The Importance of Self-Compassion
As you navigate the healing process, practising self-compassion is vital.
It is easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism, particularly when progress feels slow. Remember that healing takes time, and it is okay to be gentle with yourself during this journey.
Engaging in Self-Compassion (Card 18) is crucial as you learn to accept your imperfections and recognise that you are deserving of kindness and understanding. When you embrace self-compassion, you create a nurturing environment that fosters healing.
Strategies for Navigating Time in Healing
To support your healing process, consider integrating the following strategies into your daily routine:
Establish a Routine: Creating a daily routine can provide structure and a sense of stability. This routine can include mindfulness practices, exercise, or simply engaging in activities that bring you joy.
Set Realistic Goals: Rather than expecting immediate results, set small, achievable goals that align with your healing journey. Celebrate each victory, no matter how minor, as these incremental steps contribute to your overall progress.
Practice Mindfulness: Engaging in mindfulness practices can help anchor you in the present moment. Practice Mindfulness (Card 15) encourages you to focus on the here and now, rather than getting lost in the past or worrying about the future.
Connect with Supportive People: Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and support you. Sharing your experiences with others who understand can be incredibly healing.
Seek Professional Help: Therapy can be a powerful tool in the healing process. Therapy Is Strength (Card 25) emphasises the importance of seeking help, providing you with guidance and strategies to work through your feelings.
Engage in Creative Outlets: Art, writing, or any form of creative expression can facilitate emotional release and processing. This allows you to channel your feelings into something tangible. Take a peak at my cow yoga art.
Keep a Journal: Journaling your thoughts and feelings can help you reflect on your healing journey. Journal Your Journey (Card 22) can provide clarity and insight into your emotions over time.
Embracing the Healing Journey
As you embark on this healing journey, remember that time is not your enemy; it is a necessary ally. The more you allow yourself to embrace the process, the more you’ll discover the strength and resilience that lies within you.
It’s also essential to acknowledge that everyone’s healing journey is unique. Some may progress faster than others, but that does not diminish your experience or progress. Be mindful of comparing your journey to that of others; instead, focus on your personal growth.
Time and Resilience
Resilience is the ability to adapt to adversity and bounce back from challenges. Over time, you will cultivate resilience through your experiences, allowing you to face future obstacles with newfound strength.
Learn from Setbacks: Setbacks are a natural part of any healing process. Instead of viewing them as failures, consider them learning opportunities that contribute to your growth.
Cultivate a Growth Mindset: Embrace the belief that you can grow and change over time. This mindset encourages you to seek out challenges and view them as opportunities for development.
Celebrate Your Journey: Take time to acknowledge how far you’ve come. Reflect on the progress you’ve made and the lessons you’ve learned along the way.
3 Practical Techniques to Ground Yourself in the Present
To support your healing, it’s essential to develop strategies for staying grounded in the present. Here are a few techniques that can help:
Body Scan Meditation
This is a great way to reconnect with your body and bring awareness to the present. Start at your toes and slowly bring your attention to each part of your body, observing any sensations without judgment. It’s a calming way to anchor yourself in the moment, especially after being triggered by memories of past abuse. The Chair Yoga Card Deck offers seated postures that align well with a body scan meditation practice.Breathwork
As mentioned earlier, mindful breathing is one of the simplest ways to anchor yourself in the present moment. Use long, deep inhales and exhales to calm the nervous system and bring yourself back to the present. The Blissful Breathing Card Deck can provide you with various breathwork techniques to incorporate into your healing journey.Gentle Movement
Reconnecting with your body through movement can help you focus on the present. Yoga, Pilates, or even a mindful walk can ground you in the moment by bringing awareness to your body’s sensations. The 101 Mini Yoga Cards or the Pilates Matwork Card Deck are excellent resources to explore if you’re looking for mindful movement practices.
52 Ways to Cultivate a Growth Mindset
Here’s a list of 52 ways to cultivate a growth mindset, particularly beneficial for those on a healing journey:
Embrace Challenges: View challenges as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles.
Learn from Criticism: Take constructive criticism as feedback for improvement.
Celebrate Effort: Focus on the effort you put in, not just the outcome.
Stay Curious: Cultivate a habit of asking questions and seeking knowledge.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself during setbacks; recognise that everyone struggles.
Set Goals: Establish small, achievable goals that lead to bigger aspirations.
Visualise Success: Imagine achieving your goals to enhance motivation and confidence.
Surround Yourself with Growth-Oriented People: Engage with those who inspire you to grow.
Reflect on Progress: Regularly assess your growth and the lessons learned from experiences.
Adopt a “Not Yet” Attitude: Instead of saying you can’t do something, say you can’t do it “yet.”
Stay Open to Learning: Accept that you can learn from every situation, good or bad.
Cultivate Resilience: Practice bouncing back from failures and using them as learning experiences.
Read Inspirational Books: Explore literature that encourages growth and resilience.
Practice Gratitude: Acknowledge and appreciate what you learn from both successes and failures.
Take Risks: Step outside your comfort zone to expand your capabilities.
Engage in Continuous Learning: Commit to lifelong learning through courses, workshops, or self-study.
Use Affirmations: Repeat positive affirmations to reinforce a growth mindset.
Journal Your Experiences: Write about your challenges, insights, and successes regularly.
Learn from Others: Study the paths of those who have overcome similar challenges.
Focus on Process, Not Just Results: Appreciate the journey of growth, not just the end goal.
Embrace Change: Accept that change is a part of growth and healing.
Seek Feedback: Ask for input from trusted individuals to gain different perspectives.
Practice Mindfulness: Stay present (card 15) and aware to foster a deeper understanding of your thoughts and feelings.
Identify Limiting Beliefs: Recognise and challenge negative thoughts that hold you back.
Cultivate Patience: Understand that growth takes time and that healing is a gradual process.
Visualise Overcoming Challenges: Picture yourself successfully navigating obstacles.
Take Care of Your Body: Physical wellness (101 Mini Yoga Cards) can enhance mental resilience and promote growth.
Keep a Growth Mindset Quote Journal: Collect quotes that inspire a growth mindset for motivation.
Create a Learning Environment: Surround yourself with resources that promote learning and growth.
Stay Flexible: Be willing to adjust your plans as needed; rigidity can hinder growth.
Practice Active Listening: Engage fully with others to gain new insights and perspectives.
Break Tasks into Smaller Steps: Make challenges manageable by tackling them in smaller pieces.
Commit to Self-Improvement: Regularly evaluate your skills and seek ways to enhance them.
Limit Comparisons: Focus on your journey instead of comparing yourself to others.
Encourage Others: Support and uplift those around you, fostering a positive growth culture.
Find a Mentor: Seek guidance from someone who embodies a growth mindset.
Adopt a Problem-Solving Attitude: When faced with obstacles, focus on finding solutions instead of dwelling on the issue.
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and reward your progress, no matter how small.
Engage in Reflection: Regularly think about your experiences and what you’ve learned.
Limit Negative Self-Talk: Replace critical thoughts with constructive ones to boost self-esteem.
Practice Resilient Thinking: Focus on possibilities and opportunities rather than limitations.
Ask for Help: Reach out to others when you need support in your healing journey.
Challenge Your Comfort Zone: Regularly do something that scares or challenges you.
Establish a Routine: Create consistent practices that promote learning and growth.
Use “I’m Learning” Language: Frame your experiences with a mindset of learning rather than failure.
Engage in Group Activities: Join workshops or support groups that foster collective growth.
Develop Coping Strategies: Identify effective ways to manage stress and setbacks.
Limit Exposure to Negativity: Reduce time spent with negative influences or environments.
Create Vision Boards: Visualise your goals and dreams to keep yourself motivated.
Practice Daily Affirmations: Reaffirm your belief in your ability to grow and change.
Encourage a Growth Mindset in Others: Share your knowledge and experiences to inspire those around you.
Be Grateful for Challenges: Recognise that every challenge presents an opportunity for personal growth.
These strategies can significantly contribute to a positive and growth-oriented mindset, aiding you on your healing journey.
52 Ways to Reduce Negative Self-Talk
Here are 52 examples of limiting negative self-talk along with positive replacements to help shift your mindset:
Negative Self-Talk: “I always mess things up.”
Replacement: “I can learn from my mistakes and improve.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’m not good enough.”
Replacement: “I am capable and have strengths to offer.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’ll never be successful.”
Replacement: “Success takes time, and I am on my way.”Negative Self-Talk: “I don’t deserve happiness.”
Replacement: “I am worthy of love and joy.”Negative Self-Talk: “I can’t do anything right.”
Replacement: “I have skills and talents that I can build upon.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’m too old to change.”
Replacement: “It’s never too late to grow and learn.”Negative Self-Talk: “I will always be alone.”
Replacement: “I can build meaningful connections and relationships.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’m a failure.”
Replacement: “I am learning and growing from my experiences.”Negative Self-Talk: “I am not as talented as others.”
Replacement: “Everyone has unique strengths, and I am developing my own.”Negative Self-Talk: “I should have known better.”
Replacement: “I did the best I could with the knowledge I had.”Negative Self-Talk: “I can’t handle this.”
Replacement: “I have the strength to face challenges head-on.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’m always anxious.”
Replacement: “I am learning to manage my anxiety effectively.”Negative Self-Talk: “I won’t be able to cope.”
Replacement: “I have coped with difficult situations before, and I can do it again.”Negative Self-Talk: “No one cares about me.”
Replacement: “There are people in my life who care and support me.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’m not worthy of success.”
Replacement: “I am deserving of all the good that comes my way.”Negative Self-Talk: “I always make the wrong choices.”
Replacement: “I can make informed decisions and learn from them.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’ll never fit in.”
Replacement: “I am unique, and I bring value to any community.”Negative Self-Talk: “I can’t trust myself.”
Replacement: “I can build trust in myself through self-reflection and honesty.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’m not smart enough.”
Replacement: “I can learn and grow intellectually at my own pace.”Negative Self-Talk: “I will fail if I try.”
Replacement: “Every attempt is a chance to learn and grow.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’m just not lucky.”
Replacement: “I create my own opportunities through hard work.”Negative Self-Talk: “I can’t express my feelings.”
Replacement: “My feelings are valid, and I can share them.”Negative Self-Talk: “I am so boring.”
Replacement: “I have interests and experiences that are unique to me.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’ll always be stuck.”
Replacement: “I have the ability to change my circumstances.”Negative Self-Talk: “I don’t belong anywhere.”
Replacement: “I can find or create spaces where I feel accepted.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’ll never be good at this.”
Replacement: “With practice, I can improve my skills.”Negative Self-Talk: “People will judge me.”
Replacement: “I can’t control others’ opinions; I can only be true to myself.”Negative Self-Talk: “I always let people down.”
Replacement: “I can strive to be reliable and communicate my limitations.”Negative Self-Talk: “I am too much for others.”
Replacement: “My authenticity is valuable, and the right people will appreciate it.”Negative Self-Talk: “I am not attractive.”
Replacement: “I embrace my unique beauty and qualities.”Negative Self-Talk: “My past defines me.”
Replacement: “I am continually growing and evolving beyond my past.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’m weak for asking for help.”
Replacement: “Seeking help shows strength and self-awareness.”Negative Self-Talk: “I can’t control my emotions.”
Replacement: “I am learning to understand and manage my emotions.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’m always too late.”
Replacement: “I can still take meaningful action, no matter the timing.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’m not a priority.”
Replacement: “I deserve to prioritise my own needs and self-care.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’m terrible at meeting new people.”
Replacement: “I can practice social skills and gradually improve.”Negative Self-Talk: “I will embarrass myself.”
Replacement: “Mistakes are part of growth; I can learn from them.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’m always overlooked.”
Replacement: “I can take initiative to showcase my contributions.”Negative Self-Talk: “I don’t have time to change.”
Replacement: “I can start with small changes that fit into my life.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’m a burden to others.”
Replacement: “I contribute to relationships, and it’s okay to need support.”Negative Self-Talk: “I can’t change my habits.”
Replacement: “I can create new habits one step at a time.”Negative Self-Talk: “I always ruin everything.”
Replacement: “I can learn from setbacks and do better next time.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’m just not disciplined.”
Replacement: “I can develop discipline through practice and consistency.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’m not skilled enough.”
Replacement: “I am constantly developing my skills through effort.”Negative Self-Talk: “I shouldn’t feel this way.”
Replacement: “My feelings are valid, and I have the right to feel them.”Negative Self-Talk: “I am invisible.”
Replacement: “I can find ways to express myself and be seen.”Negative Self-Talk: “I can’t make decisions.”
Replacement: “I can take my time to weigh options and make informed choices.”Negative Self-Talk: “I don’t have what it takes.”
Replacement: “I possess the potential and resources to succeed.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’m not interesting.”
Replacement: “I have unique stories and perspectives to share.”Negative Self-Talk: “I’m a disappointment.”
Replacement: “I am doing my best, and that’s what matters.”Negative Self-Talk: “I am always stressed.”
Replacement: “I can learn techniques to manage my stress effectively.”Negative Self-Talk: “I will never heal.”
Replacement: “Healing is a journey, and I am making progress every day.”
By recognising these limiting thoughts and replacing them with positive affirmations, you can foster a healthier, growth-oriented mindset.
Conclusion: Embracing the Healing Journey
Below are some healing resources (card decks) I’ve created that may help you on your healing journey:
- Surviving Narcissism Card Deck
- Blissful Breathing Card Deck
- Chair Yoga Card Deck
- 101 Mini Yoga Cards
- Pilates Matwork Card Deck
As we conclude our exploration of Card 30: Time Heals, it’s crucial to remember that healing is an ongoing journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and time. Each step taken, no matter how small, brings you closer to reclaiming your life and sense of self-worth.
Using the principles from the previous cards, such as Rebuild Trust in Yourself (Card 17) and Release the Guilt (Card 24), can further enhance your healing journey.
Embrace the healing process, trust in your ability to navigate it, and remember that time is an essential ally in your journey towards recovery.
If you want to explore these and other strategies in-depth, I encourage you to check out the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck for guidance on your journey.
Here’s a look at the full deck:
Narcissist Mind Games (10 Cards)
- Gaslighting
- Triangulation
- Love-Bombing
- Silent Treatment
- Projection
- Blame Shifting
- Future Faking
- Flying Monkeys
- Smear Campaigns
- Hoovering
Self-Care & Boundaries (10 Cards)
- Reclaim Your Time
- Set Clear Boundaries
- No Is a Complete Sentence
- Limit Contact
- Practice Mindfulness
- Healthy Detachment
- Rebuild Trust in Yourself
- Self-Compassion
- Guard Your Energy
- Disconnect Digitally
Healing from Trauma (10 Cards)
- Acknowledge the Pain
- Journal Your Journey
- Practice Gratitude
- Release the Guilt
- Therapy Is Strength
- Feel to Heal
- Reconnect with Your Body
- Affirm Your Worth
- Focus on the Present
- Time Heals
Recognising Red Flags (8 Cards)
- Lack of Empathy
- Extreme Charm
- Need for Control
- Quick Intimacy
- No Accountability
- Inconsistent Behaviour
- Lack of Boundaries
- Isolating You
Empowerment & Rebuilding (8 Cards)
- Reclaim Your Power
- Find Your Voice
- Celebrate Small Wins
- Visualise Your Future
- Rebuild Your Identity
- Surround Yourself with Positivity
- Redefine Your Worth
- Embrace Freedom
Support Systems & Moving Forward (6 Cards)
- Find Your Tribe
- Share Your Story
- Healthy Relationships Exist
- No Contact Is Power
- Stay Educated
- Forgive Yourself First
Click here to explore the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck in full and take the first step in your healing journey.
By George Watts
