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Card Category
Empowerment & Rebuilding
Card Number
This is card 40 of 52 of the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck
Card Overview
Finding your voice after experiencing narcissistic abuse is one of the most empowering steps on the road to recovery. It represents not only the literal act of speaking up but also the broader metaphor for reclaiming autonomy over your life, your thoughts, and your emotions. As part of the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck, Card 40 encourages you to embrace the strength of your voice and break free from the chains of manipulation and suppression that narcissists often enforce.
In the wake of narcissistic abuse, it is common to feel silenced, not just by the perpetrator but also by your own self-doubt. This silence, as explored in Card 1: Gaslighting and Card 4: Silent Treatment, is often the result of continuous emotional manipulation, where you are led to question your reality, doubt your instincts, and ultimately suppress your own voice. Reclaiming that voice is about rebuilding trust in yourself and reasserting your right to be heard and respected. In this post, we’ll explore what it means to find your voice and how to harness it as a tool for healing and empowerment.
If you haven’t yet, you can get the full Surviving Narcissism Card Deck here – each card dives deep into the various manipulations and healing strategies to guide your recovery.
Table Of Contents
The Power of Speaking Your Truth
One of the first steps in finding your voice is recognising the value of your own truth.
Narcissists are experts at distorting reality, often through tactics such as Gaslighting (Card 1) or Projection (Card 5). These techniques leave you feeling confused, questioning your own perceptions, and afraid to speak up for fear of being wrong or overreacting. The narcissist creates an environment where your voice is minimised, invalidated, and often ridiculed.
Reclaiming your voice means realising that your truth is valid. You have a right to feel what you feel, to think what you think, and to express it. It can be helpful to start small by voicing your feelings in a safe space, such as in a journal (as discussed in Card 22: Journal Your Journey). Writing down your experiences and emotions can serve as a powerful outlet, allowing you to articulate your truth without fear of judgment. Over time, this practice can strengthen your confidence in your own perspective, making it easier to speak up in situations where you feel silenced or oppressed.
Setting Boundaries with Confidence
When you find your voice, it’s not just about expressing yourself; it’s also about setting firm boundaries and standing by them. Card 12: Set Clear Boundaries emphasises the importance of establishing limits with a narcissist, who often seeks to violate your personal space, time, and emotional well-being. Saying “no” can be difficult, especially if the narcissist has conditioned you to prioritise their needs over your own, but it is an essential step in reclaiming your autonomy.
A key part of using your voice is understanding that “no” is a complete sentence, as highlighted in Card 13: No Is a Complete Sentence. You do not owe anyone, especially a narcissist, an explanation or justification for your boundaries. By confidently asserting your limits, you reinforce your self-worth and demonstrate that you respect yourself enough to protect your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Boundaries are a reflection of your voice — they are the external manifestation of your internal values and needs.
In moments where the narcissist pushes back or tries to manipulate you into reconsidering your boundaries, remember that their discomfort is not your responsibility. Your only responsibility is to honour yourself by standing firm. Finding your voice means recognising that your needs are just as important as anyone else’s, and you have every right to prioritise them.
Reclaiming Power Through Assertive Communication
Assertive communication is a crucial tool for anyone recovering from narcissistic abuse.
Narcissists often use communication as a weapon, whether through outright verbal abuse or more subtle tactics like the Silent Treatment (Card 4) or Hoovering (Card 10). These behaviours are designed to keep you off balance, unsure of where you stand, and ultimately disconnected from your own voice.
Learning to communicate assertively is about finding the balance between passivity and aggression. It means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly and respectfully, without minimising or inflating their importance. Assertive communication allows you to engage with others in a way that respects both your boundaries and theirs.
In the context of narcissistic abuse, assertiveness can feel risky. The narcissist might respond with anger, dismissal, or further manipulation. However, it’s important to remember that their reaction is not a reflection of the validity of your feelings or your right to speak. Assertive communication is not about controlling the other person’s response; it’s about taking control of how you express yourself.
With practice, this skill becomes a cornerstone of reclaiming your voice and ensuring it is heard, respected, and honoured.
Healing by Reclaiming Your Voice in Safe Spaces
One of the reasons survivors of narcissistic abuse struggle to reclaim their voice is because they’ve spent so much time in unsafe environments where speaking up led to conflict, punishment, or further manipulation. To find your voice, it’s crucial to create and engage in safe spaces where you can express yourself freely without fear of judgment or retribution.
This could involve seeking out supportive communities, such as therapy groups (Card 25: Therapy Is Strength), or simply confiding in a trusted friend or family member. In these environments, you can practice voicing your needs, opinions, and emotions, allowing yourself to experience the validation and support that was lacking in your relationship with the narcissist.
In many cases, reconnecting with your body can also help ground you in your truth and rebuild your sense of self. Practices like yoga and breathwork, which I explore in the Blissful Breathing Card Deck and Chair Yoga Card Deck, offer a way to reclaim the physical aspect of your voice. When your body feels strong, connected, and aligned, it becomes easier to feel empowered in other areas of your life, including your ability to speak up for yourself.
Cultivating Self-Trust: The Key to Authentic Expression
Narcissistic abuse erodes self-trust. Through repeated instances of Blame Shifting (Card 6) and Projection (Card 5), the narcissist forces you to doubt your own experiences and question your own judgment. This makes it difficult to trust not only your thoughts and decisions but also the words you choose to express them. Rebuilding that self-trust is key to finding and owning your voice once again.
Start by affirming your own worth and validating your experiences. Card 28: Affirm Your Worth reminds us that rebuilding self-esteem after narcissistic abuse is a process, but it’s essential for empowering your voice. Remind yourself that your feelings are valid, your needs matter, and your perspective is just as important as anyone else’s. This internal work lays the foundation for external expression.
As you cultivate self-trust, you’ll begin to speak with greater clarity and confidence. Whether in small interactions or larger confrontations, the more you practise trusting yourself, the stronger your voice will become. Every time you honour your truth — whether by setting a boundary, sharing a feeling, or stating a need — you reclaim a part of yourself that the narcissist tried to silence.
Reclaim Your Voice, Reclaim Your Life
Ultimately, finding your voice after narcissistic abuse is about reclaiming ownership of your life.
When you’ve been silenced for so long, it can feel daunting to start speaking up again. But each step towards voicing your needs, wants, and feelings is a step towards reclaiming your autonomy and independence. Your voice is your power, and by using it, you take back the control that the narcissist tried to strip away.
Conclusion: Finding Your Voice is Not a One-time Event
Below are some healing resources (card decks) I’ve created that may help you on your healing journey:
- Surviving Narcissism Card Deck
- Blissful Breathing Card Deck
- Chair Yoga Card Deck
- 101 Mini Yoga Cards
- Pilates Matwork Card Deck
If you’re on this journey of recovery, remember that finding your voice is not a one-time event; it’s a continual process of growth, healing, and self-empowerment. Every time you choose to speak your truth, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, you’re making a bold statement: that you are worthy, that your voice matters, and that you will not be silenced any longer.
If you want to explore these and other strategies in-depth, I encourage you to check out the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck for guidance on your journey.
Here’s a look at the full deck:
Narcissist Mind Games (10 Cards)
- Gaslighting
- Triangulation
- Love-Bombing
- Silent Treatment
- Projection
- Blame Shifting
- Future Faking
- Flying Monkeys
- Smear Campaigns
- Hoovering
Self-Care & Boundaries (10 Cards)
- Reclaim Your Time
- Set Clear Boundaries
- No Is a Complete Sentence
- Limit Contact
- Practice Mindfulness
- Healthy Detachment
- Rebuild Trust in Yourself
- Self-Compassion
- Guard Your Energy
- Disconnect Digitally
Healing from Trauma (10 Cards)
- Acknowledge the Pain
- Journal Your Journey
- Practice Gratitude
- Release the Guilt
- Therapy Is Strength
- Feel to Heal
- Reconnect with Your Body
- Affirm Your Worth
- Focus on the Present
- Time Heals
Recognising Red Flags (8 Cards)
- Lack of Empathy
- Extreme Charm
- Need for Control
- Quick Intimacy
- No Accountability
- Inconsistent Behaviour
- Lack of Boundaries
- Isolating You
Empowerment & Rebuilding (8 Cards)
- Reclaim Your Power
- Find Your Voice
- Celebrate Small Wins
- Visualise Your Future
- Rebuild Your Identity
- Surround Yourself with Positivity
- Redefine Your Worth
- Embrace Freedom
Support Systems & Moving Forward (6 Cards)
- Find Your Tribe
- Share Your Story
- Healthy Relationships Exist
- No Contact Is Power
- Stay Educated
- Forgive Yourself First
Click here to explore the Surviving Narcissism Card Deck in full and take the first step in your healing journey.
By George Watts
